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Happiest Place On Earth

by Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction

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about

I've been a Disney fan for a long time. And along the way you gather a lot of secret information. Like the sneaky ways they make extra money at Disneyland.

lyrics

I took an early plane at 7:45
Drove up to the gate to that gleam in Mickey’s eye
Gave the parking guy my wallet and he sucked that puppy dry
Guess I’ll hit the ATM inside

Of the happiest place on earth
Where any discount they offer is just a little joke
And you have to get a bank loan for a churro and a coke
Mickey’s got a strong pimp hand at Disneyland

I strolled through the gate of that wondrous magic place
And I was met by a mouse up in my face
And I know his name is Mickey, and his palms are a little sticky
Now my wallet’s gone without a trace

To the happiest place on earth
Where birds look like they’re talking and plastic flowers bloom
Cuz Goofy’s selling roofies inside the Tiki Room
Mickey’s got a strong pimp hand at Disneyland

All I wanted was a t-shirt
Why oh why does my butt hurt
Minnie Mouse is a big flirt
Just leave the money on the dresser
And if you can’t pay your way in
Be aware of Mickey’s hitmen
There’s 7 of the little kin
Dopey Grumpy Bashful Sleepy Sneezy Doc and Trigger Happy

I stepped on a boat to hear the children sing
It’s a small world is such a sweet refrain
Then I saw something that had me quite confused
A bunch of them were making tennis shoes

At the happiest place on earth
Until you lose all of your money playing cards with Donald Duck
For just a little honey Winnie the Pooh will get you a good time
Mickey’s got a strong pimp hand at Disneyland
Mickey’s got a strong pimp hand at Disnelyand
Don’t end up in a shallow grave by a murderous little dwarf at Disneyland.

credits

released January 7, 2022

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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more

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